tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82339792097648187782024-03-05T15:50:16.749+00:00A Half-Remembered LifeWhat I choose to post about what I remember doing.
May contain errors, omissions and outright lies.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.comBlogger376125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-16732026512652665172014-06-03T16:22:00.001+01:002014-06-03T16:22:49.539+01:00This Mattress<div dir="ltr">
..."may not soak up vomit".</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKkFVMt9CHJCFneZ-P_bihG6LEBo1fsUcieoZEfuXV_ICxsSDTndgsaYf9HUaV7HeAVBVTaOtBomRwddI5AzU0kqyUGHJQIRY82NL-JIzJh611OnMktyYs4e7zWIZOj8FMneYWbUW1wto/s1600/20140529_075225-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKkFVMt9CHJCFneZ-P_bihG6LEBo1fsUcieoZEfuXV_ICxsSDTndgsaYf9HUaV7HeAVBVTaOtBomRwddI5AzU0kqyUGHJQIRY82NL-JIzJh611OnMktyYs4e7zWIZOj8FMneYWbUW1wto/s640/20140529_075225-1.jpg" height="163" width="320" /> </a> </div>
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Always good to know that about a mattress.</div>
Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-81640877286335901662014-05-24T14:16:00.001+01:002014-05-28T10:43:17.351+01:00Found Under the Telly<div dir="ltr">
One Sunday morning, we found all this treasure underneath the television. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiygHUIxKa1qJ2SLk51d6-K7KQK795OIBXNmj6jD8ycQUxmCaQbA7bBXs8cq9gM0OrUOxqqFNF5R-R9unG2sIXwNxs2kcPQUT090wXGtbGp75BgPA2x2RVsQipIiIxDzU2J_H1ARMAiXwY/s640/20140503_080918.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiygHUIxKa1qJ2SLk51d6-K7KQK795OIBXNmj6jD8ycQUxmCaQbA7bBXs8cq9gM0OrUOxqqFNF5R-R9unG2sIXwNxs2kcPQUT090wXGtbGp75BgPA2x2RVsQipIiIxDzU2J_H1ARMAiXwY/s640/20140503_080918.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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And three marbles.<br />
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What the Microsoft Visual Studio T-shirt should look like.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYZrYggaFCXWQnro0mCZq3loGka-h2sHDVn7ZD7mdt3zdtIQjDreKL9TtqregGNdyVzy7Q7k2lLkEnkoDogAO7q0QvcsZSIB-N08ZqJoxsd5V-qEJStrRQXqm3gNKHC2db7i5o0yrhmUE/s640/20140521_081826-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYZrYggaFCXWQnro0mCZq3loGka-h2sHDVn7ZD7mdt3zdtIQjDreKL9TtqregGNdyVzy7Q7k2lLkEnkoDogAO7q0QvcsZSIB-N08ZqJoxsd5V-qEJStrRQXqm3gNKHC2db7i5o0yrhmUE/s640/20140521_081826-1.jpg" height="217" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Visual Studio" T-shirt</td></tr>
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What it looks like if it doesn't fit quite right. And the reason why people were staring at my chest.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Visual Stud" T-shirt</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPdEv55pj9RvM-nkYKwJPi2Ty-Q7Xw7f1qNrj-jZKcut4y2KvcqhFa8acPfkZJa_BI1BjxWQiEOdM7t_47ijWjl1bufv8u1CfGOKR7e9WUHNdOQ02OMFGLlLuxyOk2VEBCCemI_ztXskg/s1600/20140521_081901-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a> </div>
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I <i>always</i> choose quick-frozen cephalopods, don't you?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKn78VMrXnlLe63zqAtAUd4k-jhLLZp5-rpzjpJDlnF_Xdj7EgOPH7QwLuOauG5JEsc0IzB1yG7odkC7_dMvEXQpWZP46S4nQjP59ngSvVU7QpVwl3l6rRWtjiUAQwNsZ0f_wEb-xlE30/s640/20130504_145747-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKn78VMrXnlLe63zqAtAUd4k-jhLLZp5-rpzjpJDlnF_Xdj7EgOPH7QwLuOauG5JEsc0IzB1yG7odkC7_dMvEXQpWZP46S4nQjP59ngSvVU7QpVwl3l6rRWtjiUAQwNsZ0f_wEb-xlE30/s640/20130504_145747-1.jpg" height="102" width="320" /></a></div>
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I find they're <i>so</i> much more tasty.</div>
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Um...no.</div>
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Spotted in Toys 'R' Us this weekend; stuffed animal heads! Suitable for mounting on the wall, just like Grandpa has in his hunting lodge!</div>
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Except not stuffed like that. And totally appropriate for hanging above your child's bed.</div>
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The <i>most</i> wrong/funny thing about this - to my mind, at least - is that one of the options is a <span style="font-style: italic;">unicorn's</span> head.</div>
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Toys 'R' Us: where childhood dreams end.</div>
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Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-86239528757168409182014-05-04T16:29:00.001+01:002014-05-04T16:29:35.885+01:00Too Early for a Drink?When I say "Is it too early for a drink?", I'm not asking for permission; I'm asking for a companion, a co-conspirator.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-78932296856357053892013-12-26T10:47:00.001+00:002014-05-04T21:58:17.714+01:00Christmas Serendipity<div dir="ltr">
Whilst rummaging in the fridge for the mayonnaise (for a mid-morning turkey sandwich) I came upon the unfinished champagne.</div>
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How could I refuse?</div>
Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-28109170656170377442011-06-14T20:57:00.000+01:002011-06-14T20:57:14.871+01:00People that moan about social media...being used for communication and advertising presumably feel the same way about speech:<br />
<blockquote><i>Oh, remember when talking was about food, and going to the toilet, and stuff?<br />
Now it's all about marketing...</i></blockquote>Perhaps we just need to accept the fact that people will use social media for marketing, as well as for useful stuff.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-8198398671729312042011-05-25T10:59:00.003+01:002011-06-14T20:55:56.936+01:00When I bought a chainsaw from Amazon...They offered to gift wrap it.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-28191021092821510142011-05-17T20:23:00.000+01:002011-05-17T20:23:08.185+01:00Smoked salmon - allergy adviceApparently, smoked salmon contains fish. Who knew?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwwaAArHdAVt9oZ2tWAVnM2NZp2e08V8DCuxm1aR4fgzMExQqDYQ2ux_rRa2767knLxkJKWk7yHLXCsSpi0vyGD6BjiNLNNQGztvJkjewU2D6Qn3qqDzGaI3qXHRL14NJMHO7JH8pJpo/s1600/Smoked+Salmon+Contains+Fish+-+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="50" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwwaAArHdAVt9oZ2tWAVnM2NZp2e08V8DCuxm1aR4fgzMExQqDYQ2ux_rRa2767knLxkJKWk7yHLXCsSpi0vyGD6BjiNLNNQGztvJkjewU2D6Qn3qqDzGaI3qXHRL14NJMHO7JH8pJpo/s400/Smoked+Salmon+Contains+Fish+-+cropped.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Nice one, Sainsbury's.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-23701783116736392992011-03-23T10:00:00.003+00:002011-06-14T21:01:25.321+01:00Buying local (and locally)I agree with pretty much all of this article.<div><br />
<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2010/08/26/why-i-buy-local/">http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2010/08/26/why-i-buy-local/</a><br />
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<pre></pre></div>Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-50183863091876430912011-03-03T16:29:00.003+00:002011-03-07T18:58:36.376+00:00When Buying Music...always buy the Explicit version (if available). I mean, otherwise you're just paying for <i>silence</i>.<br />
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And the words they remove are usually $5 words...Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-21619192099530166202011-03-02T10:08:00.004+00:002011-06-14T20:58:50.750+01:00Solutions That Aren'tThe little one-woman cafe in the local garden centre has a menu behind the counter, entitled <i>"Breakfast Solutions"</i>.<br />
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Solutions?<br />
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<i>Solutions</i>. As if they're solving a complex problem. It's bacon, sausage and egg, not world hunger.<br />
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<div>Why not "Breakfast Options"? "Breakfast Choices"?</div><br />
Or even just "Breakfasts"?<br />
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The problem is the bleed of marketing non-speak into everyday life. Horrid.<br />
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</div>Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-50523997737785081612011-02-28T07:00:00.001+00:002013-12-27T08:06:00.313+00:00Something Sporty<p dir=ltr>We've been invited to wear something sporty to work, for charity.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I fear the majority choice will be things worn to watch sport rather than <i>do </i>sport. So that'll be an entire package holiday worth of national football and rugby shirts.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm trying to decide whether to wear a swim cap, my skydiving jumpsuit, or - as one witty colleague suggested, a waistcoat (not that I really believe snooker to be a sport).</p>
Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-23775342515559032262011-02-27T12:00:00.007+00:002013-12-27T08:04:03.157+00:00The Daily Mail<p dir=ltr>Whenever I see someone buy the Daily Mail, a little piece of me dies. With the Mail on Sunday, it's a slightly larger piece.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I can't read the newspaper without elevating my blood pressure and heart rate at the wild leaps of "reasoning" the frothy-mouthed articles make in order to foment the readership into righteous indignation.</p>
<p dir=ltr>That anyone would choose to read such poisonous tripe is profoundly disappointing, distressing, disturbing.<br>
That anyone might accept it enough to act on it unthinkable.</p>
<p dir=ltr>A recent piece opened with the statement that cyclists had more heart attacks than other people. By the end of the article, the statement was revealed to be based on a creative interpretation of a piece of scientific research - an interpretation not endorsed by the <i>authors </i>of the research.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Now I don't have a problem with creative writing, but when it's dressed up as factual journalism, something is rotten in the state of Denmark.</p>
Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-60841753967115703232011-02-15T16:40:00.002+00:002011-03-07T19:00:11.092+00:00Cultural DifferencesThe Italian prime minister has been indicted to stand trial on charges of paying for sex with an underage girl (according to <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12083491">BBC News</a>).<br />
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I <i>really </i>can't imagine that happening in the UK.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-36119274060722399892011-01-30T22:00:00.001+00:002011-02-02T21:49:05.175+00:00FlossingThe dental profession's preferred way of making your gums bleed.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-81687247590409114882011-01-29T05:30:00.001+00:002011-01-29T10:35:55.773+00:00Coffee for Survival, Coffee for PleasureAt this time in the morning, the first coffee of the day is about survival, not pleasure. Something to get me through the dark, early hours of Too Early, Too Early.<br />
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Later, when my mind is more active, when the sleep is rubbed from my eyes. When the joints are less creaky, the muscles warmer, the blood runs a little hotter - then coffee is about pleasure. A dark, rich brew, glorious.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-25265268410983494672011-01-27T11:42:00.010+00:002011-02-14T18:58:29.519+00:00An Email from Fiona RobynToday, an email newsletter from Fiona Robyn, always a joy. I love the way Fiona writes: with warmth, confidence and a kind of reassuring authority.<br />
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To see more of Fiona's writing, read her <a href="http://www.plantingwords.com/">Writing Our Way Home blog</a>.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-80716742233258715662011-01-27T07:37:00.000+00:002011-01-27T07:37:04.946+00:00Clothes with draw-string hoodsI would like to propose that all clothes with pull-cords and draw-strings - things like hooded tops, for instance - come with a warning label. This label would contain a prominent, cleverly-worded message reminding first-time parents of the dangers of wearing such a garment around a grabby infant.<br />
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I realise that such a message might deter first-time parents from buying the clothes, which ain't really brilliant for the clothing manufacturer. But it would be a boon for parents everywhere.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-52179715032047307432011-01-25T08:04:00.000+00:002011-01-25T08:04:17.367+00:00Celebrity Come Dine With Me<span class="status-body"><span class="status-content"><span class="entry-content"></span></span></span>A British TV show where dysfunctional minor-celebrity no-hopers with dreary new-build estate homes and over-inflated opinions of their culinary and social skills compete to win a feeble sum of money <i>for charity</i> by hosting dinner parties for the other contestants.<br />
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In case you missed the italics, the aspect that makes this a celebrity show - in keeping with most other celebrity versions of television programs - is not the celebrity (or otherwise) of the contestants, but the fact that the prize money is <i>for charity</i>.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-58235790246518503292011-01-25T08:03:00.003+00:002011-02-02T21:48:51.195+00:00Come Dine With MeA British TV show where dysfunctional no-hopers with over-inflated opinions of their culinary and social skills compete to win a feeble sum of money by hosting dinner parties for the other contestants.<br />
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Usually, the least offensive (meaning least interesting) person from the group wins.<br />
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The fact that these people are on television should be warning enough that they're not the kind of people that would be fun to have dinner with.<br />
<br />
What impresses and depresses me the most about this program is the sheer number of people convinced of their own abilities despite all evidence to the contrary. Every episode, one contestant will proclaim their lack of experience ("I've never done a dinner party before" or "I don't cook desserts").Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-52021566484819259752011-01-24T09:58:00.002+00:002011-06-14T20:58:18.129+01:00Wafer Thin Ham - Why Bother?What's the attraction of wafer-thin ham? It seems miserly. I want thick slabs that I can <i>taste</i>.<br />
<br />
I like ham; not that slimy wet stuff that comes from reformed scrapings, recovered from carcasses, mashed and pulped and shaped to <i>look</i> like ham.<br />
<br />
The thing is, some people's only experience of ham is those sliced slabs, round-cornered oblongs that fit the packaging (and sandwiches) perfectly. Pigs aren't regular sizes, certainly not oblongs. They have bones and other bits that help them live (and make their ham tastier when cooked). It's all part of the sanitising of meat, moving away from the distasteful fact of having to kill something.<br />
<br />
There's something not quite right about that.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-6353167017499073962011-01-19T15:59:00.002+00:002011-02-02T21:47:28.966+00:00A Monkey Peeler<div class="mobile-photo"></div><div class="mobile-photo"></div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">...That's a peeler-for-vegetables shaped like a monkey. Not a peeler-for-monkeys.</div><div><br />
</div><br />
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I'm pretty sure.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233979209764818778.post-3253011071328732902010-11-08T07:00:00.023+00:002011-01-29T10:36:44.539+00:00La Bamba: The Mother of all EarwormsIt's about 4:30 in the morning.<br />
<br />
I'm sitting in the rocking chair in the semi-dark of the nursery, the only light an orangey glow from the night light beside the bed. The rain is pattering on the roof, there's a cool breeze blowing somewhere around my ankles. As I move gently to and fro, cradling my slumbering son in my arms, all I can think is:<br />
<blockquote><i>Para bailar la bamba</i><br />
<i>Para bailar la bamba</i></blockquote>And then, shaking my head to clear it,<br />
<blockquote><i>Por ti sere</i><br />
<i>Por ti sere</i></blockquote>This is the result of finally looking up the <i>actual</i> lyrics to La Bamba, after a lifetime of singing<br />
<blockquote><i>Bab-a-lab la bamba</i></blockquote>It turns out the words are pretty straightforward. It's the tune that's the thing.<br />
<br />
And I can't get it out of my head.Andy Fryerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01537774571859422096noreply@blogger.com0