Today, an email newsletter from Fiona Robyn, always a joy. I love the way Fiona writes: with warmth, confidence and a kind of reassuring authority.
To see more of Fiona's writing, read her Writing Our Way Home blog.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
Clothes with draw-string hoods
I would like to propose that all clothes with pull-cords and draw-strings - things like hooded tops, for instance - come with a warning label. This label would contain a prominent, cleverly-worded message reminding first-time parents of the dangers of wearing such a garment around a grabby infant.
I realise that such a message might deter first-time parents from buying the clothes, which ain't really brilliant for the clothing manufacturer. But it would be a boon for parents everywhere.
I realise that such a message might deter first-time parents from buying the clothes, which ain't really brilliant for the clothing manufacturer. But it would be a boon for parents everywhere.
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
Celebrity Come Dine With Me
A British TV show where dysfunctional minor-celebrity no-hopers with dreary new-build estate homes and over-inflated opinions of their culinary and social skills compete to win a feeble sum of money for charity by hosting dinner parties for the other contestants.
In case you missed the italics, the aspect that makes this a celebrity show - in keeping with most other celebrity versions of television programs - is not the celebrity (or otherwise) of the contestants, but the fact that the prize money is for charity.
In case you missed the italics, the aspect that makes this a celebrity show - in keeping with most other celebrity versions of television programs - is not the celebrity (or otherwise) of the contestants, but the fact that the prize money is for charity.
Come Dine With Me
A British TV show where dysfunctional no-hopers with over-inflated opinions of their culinary and social skills compete to win a feeble sum of money by hosting dinner parties for the other contestants.
Usually, the least offensive (meaning least interesting) person from the group wins.
The fact that these people are on television should be warning enough that they're not the kind of people that would be fun to have dinner with.
What impresses and depresses me the most about this program is the sheer number of people convinced of their own abilities despite all evidence to the contrary. Every episode, one contestant will proclaim their lack of experience ("I've never done a dinner party before" or "I don't cook desserts").
Usually, the least offensive (meaning least interesting) person from the group wins.
The fact that these people are on television should be warning enough that they're not the kind of people that would be fun to have dinner with.
What impresses and depresses me the most about this program is the sheer number of people convinced of their own abilities despite all evidence to the contrary. Every episode, one contestant will proclaim their lack of experience ("I've never done a dinner party before" or "I don't cook desserts").
Monday, 24 January 2011
Wafer Thin Ham - Why Bother?
What's the attraction of wafer-thin ham? It seems miserly. I want thick slabs that I can taste.
I like ham; not that slimy wet stuff that comes from reformed scrapings, recovered from carcasses, mashed and pulped and shaped to look like ham.
The thing is, some people's only experience of ham is those sliced slabs, round-cornered oblongs that fit the packaging (and sandwiches) perfectly. Pigs aren't regular sizes, certainly not oblongs. They have bones and other bits that help them live (and make their ham tastier when cooked). It's all part of the sanitising of meat, moving away from the distasteful fact of having to kill something.
There's something not quite right about that.
I like ham; not that slimy wet stuff that comes from reformed scrapings, recovered from carcasses, mashed and pulped and shaped to look like ham.
The thing is, some people's only experience of ham is those sliced slabs, round-cornered oblongs that fit the packaging (and sandwiches) perfectly. Pigs aren't regular sizes, certainly not oblongs. They have bones and other bits that help them live (and make their ham tastier when cooked). It's all part of the sanitising of meat, moving away from the distasteful fact of having to kill something.
There's something not quite right about that.
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
A Monkey Peeler
...That's a peeler-for-vegetables shaped like a monkey. Not a peeler-for-monkeys.
I'm pretty sure.
Monday, 8 November 2010
La Bamba: The Mother of all Earworms
It's about 4:30 in the morning.
I'm sitting in the rocking chair in the semi-dark of the nursery, the only light an orangey glow from the night light beside the bed. The rain is pattering on the roof, there's a cool breeze blowing somewhere around my ankles. As I move gently to and fro, cradling my slumbering son in my arms, all I can think is:
And I can't get it out of my head.
I'm sitting in the rocking chair in the semi-dark of the nursery, the only light an orangey glow from the night light beside the bed. The rain is pattering on the roof, there's a cool breeze blowing somewhere around my ankles. As I move gently to and fro, cradling my slumbering son in my arms, all I can think is:
Para bailar la bambaAnd then, shaking my head to clear it,
Para bailar la bamba
Por ti sereThis is the result of finally looking up the actual lyrics to La Bamba, after a lifetime of singing
Por ti sere
Bab-a-lab la bambaIt turns out the words are pretty straightforward. It's the tune that's the thing.
And I can't get it out of my head.
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