Word of the day: Buttress

buttress [buht-tres]
-noun

1. A long lock or curl of hair on the bottom.
2. Any sort of arse hair.

Definition: Ook

ook [ook]

-verb

1. To be excessively delayed due to fannying around.
2. To send an email around the company proclaiming your love of monkeys or
   something monkey related; to do this to someone else ("I left my
   computer unlocked and he ooked me!").
3. To slack off a meeting.

Define: Naan Partner

It goes like this: at a social setting involving food, conversation naturally ebbs and flows between those in one's immediate vicinity at table. As menu choices are made, as the waiter (or waitress) takes food orders, common ground is established; alliances are negotiated. Natural groupings form as people spontaneously find someone else that wants to order the same type of naan (or rice) as them, and short-term food sharing arrangements are instigated.

These apparently simple pacts hide subtle complexities like: who should make the first tear? Does one take an approximate half in one go? Or repeatedly return to the plate, tearing at the bready deliciousness with increasingly stained fingers?

See also: Rice Partner

The indefinite article

You didn't have "the burger" for lunch, you had "a burger."

Okay?

Word of the day: Blearious

blearious [bleer-ee-uhs]
-adjective
That fuzzy, early morning frenzied manic feeling.

Asinine alliteration

What is it about food marketeers that leads them to name food "products" (don't even get me started) with those ridiculous alliterative names?

According to the marketing blurb in the supermarket magazine, Forest Feast dried fruits come with typically idiotic names: Mouthwatering Mango, Scrumptious Sour Cherries, Bountiful Blackcurrants, Sumptuous Strawberries.

I mean, really. Taking just one at random, sumptuous means luxuriously fine, splendid, lavish. Not the first word that springs to mind when describing wizened old fruit, is it?

And the non-alliterative ones are even more asinine: Incredible Cranberries, Unbelievable Blueberries.

I'm pretty sure I do and can believe in cranberries and blueberries. And my palate may be as jaded or uneducated as you fancy, but dried fruit (dried fruit!) is never going to be incredible.

Word of the day: disfigurement

disfigurement [dis-fig-er-muhnt]
-noun

See dyscalculia.

A question of taste

What's the English word for schnitzel? Or escalope?

Phrase of the day: Cross fertilization

Meaning: angry insemination.

Word of the day: Slydive

slydive [slahy-dahyv]
- noun
The cheeky skydive you fit in after leaving work early.

Word of the day: nosy

nos - y [noh-zee]
- adjective
Concernedly interested in the affairs of close friends, without any connotations of prying. Kind. Attractive. Considerate, caring. Witty, funny, smart. Peerless.

Mendacious

Now that's a word I don't hear often enough.

Word of the day: Slum

slum [sluhm]
– verb

To add up the number of pounds you lost this week.

Word of the day: Swum

swum [swuhm]
– verb

To add up the number of lengths you've just done.

Word of the day: Cockgoblin

cock - gob - lin [kok-gob-lin]
- noun

1. a worthless or idiotic person: Brunty was being a total cockgoblin.

Word of the day: Inkling

ink - ling [ingk - ling]
- noun

1. A baby pen. Properly a juvenile fountain pen, but now commonly used to refer to young ballpoints. When the pen has reached adult size, it is no longer referred to as an inkling.
2. An immature squid.
   

Word of the day: Birodiversity

bi-ro-di-ver-si-ty [Bahy-roh-di-vur-si-tee]
- noun

The number and variety of ballpoint pens found within a specific region, such as an old mug in the kitchen. Usually includes a selection of cheap ballpoints sent by charities asking for donations, none of which will write more than a few words at a time.