Monday, 11 August 2008

Cast of characters

Jaffle McSnaffle, a blogger

Your humble narrator, Jaffle McSnaffle is blessed with a patchy memory and the gift of invention. Every one of his memories shared here is subject to distortion through the dual lenses of imagination and creation; events are remembered as they should have been, not necessarily as they were.

The Sparkly One

Sometimes McSnaffle is a sidekick to the Sparkly One, and sometimes a superhero.

As her name suggests, the Sparkly One is much-possessed of sparkles.

The Bearded One, man born of water

The Bearded One is at least as comfortable in the water as one Michael Phelps, an Olympian of some reknown. There's a prevailing rumour that he was raised by dolphins, or tuna, but the DNA evidence to prove or refute this claim has been mysteriously lost. We understand that Dan Brown is currently working on a book based on the subject.

The Beardless One, who needs no further sobriquet

For every yin there is a yang, some would have us believe. The Beardless One is seen often in the company of the Bearded One, for she is the yang to his yin, the smooth chin to his befurred one.

The Clanky One, a star

Abraham Van Helsing may once have told Mina Murray-Harker:

"There is darkness in life, and there are lights. And you, Madam Mina, are one of those lights."

So is the Clanky One.

Funky Iron Girl, a triathlete

There are athletes, and there are triathletes - those people who would train for (and indeed compete in) three seperate disciplines in a single event. Funky Iron Girl is one such, and has already completed the UK Ironman 70.3, an event comprising 70.3 miles of multi-sport (a 1.2 mile swim followed by 56 miles of cycling, followed by a 13.1 mile run. That's the same as running a half marathon after from London to Brighton, having done a long swim in the capital beforehand). This event is laughingly (although accurately) called a half-Ironman-distance triathlon. You can do the maths to arrive at the full event.

Funky Iron Girl is planning to do the full distance in 2009. And the acronym for her sobriquet is cool too.

Two cautionary notes

  1. If you recognise yourself in these characters, think yourself fortunate, and do not expect to be mentioned too often. It's my blog, subject to my whims. And my faulty, fun-seeking memory.
  2. If, by contrast, you do not see yourself named in this august list, do not worry. Perhaps your time will come. Or perhaps you would be better not being remembered thus.

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